10: What It Really Means When You Get Ghosted
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What It Really Means When You Get Ghosted
Getting ghosted can be a bewildering and disheartening experience, but before you let it shake your confidence, let's break down what's really happening behind those silent screens and unanswered messages.
In this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, we dive into what it really means when you get ghosted by someone and the key thing you need to remember the next time it happens to you.
Tune in now to hear:
1. My Ghosting Experience: I share my own personal experience with being ghosted by someone I’d agreed to go on a first date with - what would have been my first date in 7 years!
2. Burnout and Ghosting: I reveal how my own personal challenges with burnout led to me unintentionally ghosting someone after a first date.
3. Learning from Experience: I reflect on my actions and how it helped me to understand what it really means when someone ghosts you - spoiler alert: it’s not about you!
4. The Courage to Be Honest: I emphasise that ghosting often stems from a lack of courage to communicate that you're not interested and the important thing you need to remember if you’re ever ghosted again in the future.
5. Remember Your Worth: We reinforce the idea that being ghosted is not a reflection of your value and that you deserve someone who treats you with respect.
Remember, if someone ghosts you, it's their loss, not yours. You’re brilliant, you’re amazing and you deserve someone who recognises that!
The Ghosting Experience
So, what exactly is ghosting? In a nutshell, it's when someone you've been chatting with, maybe even went on a date with, suddenly goes radio silent. One moment, you're sharing messages, photos, and voice notes and the next, they've vanished into thin air. If you've never experienced it before, it can be both frustrating and confusing. But hey, welcome to the club – ghosting is practically a rite of passage in modern dating.
It's Not About You, It's About Them
The first and most crucial thing to understand about ghosting is that it's not a reflection of your worth. Seriously, it's not you; it's them. People ghost for a variety of reasons, but it rarely has anything to do with the person being ghosted. Maybe they're not ready for a relationship, or they realised they're not as interested as they initially thought. It's essential to remember that it's their lack of courage and communication skills, not your inadequacy, that leads to ghosting.
The Fear of Confrontation
Why do people ghost instead of being upfront about their feelings? It often boils down to fear – the fear of confrontation and the fear of hurting someone's feelings. Let's face it; telling someone you're not into them isn't the easiest thing to do, especially when you've been getting along just fine. People who ghost are often anxious about the other person's reaction and don't want to be perceived as the "bad guy" for causing any emotional distress.
Empathy vs. Overthinking
Many of us who've been ghosted tend to overthink the situation. We worry about how our rejecting someone might affect the other person, even though, in reality, both parties are often still in the early stages of dating. While it's essential to be empathetic, remember that you're not responsible for someone else's emotional well-being after only a few conversations or a single date. Recognise the balance between being considerate and overthinking the situation.
Moving On with Confidence
So, what should you do if you've been ghosted? First and foremost, remember that you are incredible just as you are. Ghosting says more about the ghoster's inability to communicate than your worth. It's their loss for not recognising your brilliance. Instead of dwelling on the ghosting, focus on your journey to self-discovery and self-love.
While it's perfectly okay to feel a little hurt or confused initially, don't let ghosting shatter your confidence. Keep your chin up and continue your quest for a meaningful connection. There are plenty of wonderful people out there who will appreciate you for who you are and they won't disappear on you.
Remember, It’s Not About You
In the world of modern dating, ghosting has become an unfortunate part of the landscape. However, understanding what it truly means when you get ghosted can help you maintain your confidence and keep your spirits high. Remember, it's not about you; it's about them and their inability to communicate openly and honestly.
If someone ghosts you, take it as a sign that they weren't the right fit for you, and that's perfectly okay. You deserve someone who recognises your brilliance and treats you like the gem you are. So, brush off those ghosting encounters, keep your head held high, and approach each new date with the confidence that the best is yet to come. Ghosting is their loss, not yours, and your perfect match is still out there waiting to be discovered.
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Send me your dating dilemma 〰️
You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.
About Your Host
Rebecca Hawkes (you can call her Becka) is the host of The Date with Confidence Podcast, your go-to show if you’re tired of dating drama and ready to raise your standards without losing your mind (or your sense of humour).
After being blindsided by a breakup at 29, Becka turned her “WTF is happening with my life” moment into a journey of self-growth, self-worth, and a mission to help other 30-somethings stop settling. Now, she shares how to date with confidence, trust your intuition, and attract the kind of love that actually feels good.
Becka isn’t here for generic dating advice, she’s here to bring you the real, raw, and funny truths about modern dating. Expect practical tools, mindset shifts, and the occasional rant that’ll leave you feeling like you’ve just had wine with your best mate.
Want more? Sign up for her BTS with Becka newsletter here.
